I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
