U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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