john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Boobs are out for the taking
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
