id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
