btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
