there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
