Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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