Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
