Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
