I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
