the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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