he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
