So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
