I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
