so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
