well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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