Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
