Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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