i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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