No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
