Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
