Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
