I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
