yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
