I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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