this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
