sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
