He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
