jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
