im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
