thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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