It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
