Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
