Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
