need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
