THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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