This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
