Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
