Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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