oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
