i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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