I didn't shave. On purpose
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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