My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
