he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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