At least make sure they are 18
Why
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
