omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
