how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
