She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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