and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i came on her dog
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
