I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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