They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
